Sabtu, 17 Maret 2012
Crime or terrorism in Jakarta
In Jakarta, Crime was one of the issues that make a disadvantages to the country. Firstly, all the people that need money they do anything according what their want like they do not care about their surroundings they just have intention to kill and robbed which make the country have high criminals. Secondly, Malls in Jakarta do checking of the car just for only purpose just seeing without knowing that the car really have bomb or not. Furthermore, The terrorist doing harmful things such as bomb which may destroy and kill thousands of people. In conclusion, one should help the government to control about the terrorism in Jakarta and make it a better country with less Criminals.
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It should be clear whether you are talking about crime or terrorism. Watch your punctuation and capitalization. Try to proofread before publishing the final copy. Ideas lack supporting details, i.e. too general. The paragraph should talk about one idea only (e.g. topic sentence suggests that paragraph will discuss disadvantages).
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